Be true to yourself ...about yourself

I recently finished Kathy Pike's book Hope... from the Heart of Horses and found one part in the book in particular caught my attention and held it:

"A human who is in an incongruent state of being - thinking one thought while feeling a different emotion, or carrying an agenda and trying to hide it - gives off the same vibration or stress signals as a predatory animal in the wild. ...Horses couldn't care less what you are trying to appear to be; horses sense what you are feeling, who you are, even if you are unaware of it yourself." (p 49)

It's true. A horse won't care what your agenda is or who it is you're pretending to be - they only care about the true self. That's what makes horses so great to work with when it comes to therapy: you know pretty much immediately if someone is hiding something based on how the horse reacts to them.

Take my last group demonstration for example: I was having a bit of a crappy day and tried to fake it with my group. I wasn't able to get my demonstration done initially because Jamie, the Standardbred horse in the photo, was anxious and a bit fidgety, sensing my emotions. After taking a minute to sort out my feelings and show Jamie that everything was okay, he responded well and did everything I asked him to do.

I guess I, and pretty much everyone else out there, need to take a minute and remember that you can't lie to a horse so you might as well be honest with everyone in the first place.

The importance of confidence

I was working with a particularly difficult horse today and the more frustrated I got, the less she responded to what I was asking her to do. I had to let her be for a few minutes while I got myself calmed down. Finally, I got back in the ring with her and projected a calm, confident aura to her and she responded positively to me and did what I asked her to.

This whole experience has reminded me of the importance of confidence. Confidence is one of those things that you take don't really notice when you have it and desperately want it when you don't. This is particularly true when dealing with horses. Horses can sense and respond to the energy that you're projecting and it's particularly helpful when you're projecting confidence.

It makes me wonder how much more effective I'll be in working with horses when I've done more leadership training. Maybe boosting my confidence in myself is what I need to be more confident around horses. I'll let you know.